Style is a practice, not a performance
On unlearning external validation and finding your personal style
Growing up, dance was my life. And in dance, we're typically focused on the performance.
While there is of course joy and a sense of beauty of dancing in the studio, ballet is one of the performing arts for a reason — our practice of refining our technique is building for that moment on stage.
This isn't necessarily a bad thing! I love dance and believe it's a beautiful art form that deserves to be shared and appreciated.
But that mindset shaped how I approached creative expression in general: as something to be evaluated. Something to display and measure by external validation.
So imagine my surprise when I took my first yoga class in early adulthood and the teacher said:
“Yoga is a practice for yourself, not a performance for anyone else.”
At first, this idea of a permanent practice was both freeing and unsettling.
I remember thinking: “what's the point if there's no final goal? No performance we're building towards?”
After many failed attempts, though, I slowly started to tune into how it felt and stopped worrying so much about how it looked or how I compared to the other students in class.
Slowly, this shift in focus started to seep into other elements of my life.
Including — you guessed it — my style.
Style as a Practice
What if we thought about getting dressed more like yoga or meditation than a performing art?
Style as an eternal practice. No end destination. No awards. No applause.
What if personal style wasn't about curating that dream capsule wardrobe or signature look but a lifelong practice?
What if every time you got dressed was simply an opportunity to get better at style, or at least your own measure it?
Perhaps the point is the process — and what we learn about ourselves along the way.
Trying on, mixing it up, tweaking, and reflecting is what builds your style skills and your style muscle.
At first this “never done” mindset might at first feel at odds with finding our sense of enough-ness.
But viewing style as a practice doesn't mean chasing a never-ending goalpost. And it's definitely not about running on the overconsumption hamster wheel.
It's more like a feedback loop:
Did I like that? Did that feel good? What might I do differently next time?
This kind of reflection helps us shop more intentionally, dress more confidently, and curate wardrobes that support who we are and what we want to communicate to the outside.
What Practicing Style Actually Looks Like
Where performing style is about perfection and external validation, practicing style is about progress and listening to your internal compass.
Performing style might look like copying a Pinterest outfit to the T.
Practicing style is about finding the elements that resonate with you.
Performing style seeks compliments as proof the outfit is “good” enough.
Practicing style relies on self-trust without requiring outside approval.
Here's how this can show up in practice:
Closet Creativity
This week, we launched the beta of the Love Your Closet Again course and several participants shared that their goal during the 6 weeks was to become more creative in their closets rather than constantly seeking external “inspiration”.
And that's what practicing style is all about!
It's about trying new combinations, reimagining overlooked pieces, and getting curious.
While inspiration can be helpful as a starting point, style isn't born from external inspiration alone. Having the right frameworks + putting them into practice day after day is what builds our style muscle.
Iterative Improvement
We're not going for closet clean-outs or dramatic before and afters.
This is about slow refinements that last.
We can start to pay attention to what makes an outfit what it is — the fits, proportions, color palette, textures, and fabrics. Notice which tweaks took it from meh to a YES.
Here we can start to find the outfit formulas that work for us (and our real lives).
Alignment
Practicing style is ultimately a process of self-awareness.
It's noticing how you feel in certain pieces (emotionally and physically).
It's asking whether you genuinely love wearing dark neutrals, or if your closet is filled with black & navy just because those are “safe” professional colors. (Calling my previous self out right there…)
It's learning to trust the voice that says “this doesn't feel right".
It's getting closer each week to matching your style with your essence.
It's having fun with your style words!
It's finding your color season and perhaps realizing that the color palette just somehow feels like you (or realizing it doesn't). 🌸
I know this isn't a self-help newsletter!
But style is personal.
And fashion is informed by psychology.
So when you start really paying attention to your style and your relationship with your wardrobe, it has a sneaky way of revealing deeper patterns. 👀
That's why practicing style (instead of performing it) can be such a powerful shift.
So the next time you get dressed, treat it like a mini practice session, rather than a performance or a graded test.
Did this outfit make me feel how I wanted to feel?
What part of this worked? What might I do differently next time?
What does this tell me about what I actually want from my wardrobe?
You don’t need to overhaul your closet or find your “signature style” overnight — you just need to start noticing.
That’s how you build confidence and how you get closer to a wardrobe that feels aligned.
Not through perfection, but through practice.
xx Elizabeth
💬 Your Feedback Wanted!
While this newsletter is all about reshaping our relationships to consumption, I also get quite specific questions from subscribers about shopping more consciously: where do I get natural fiber tees? are there any footwear brands that are actually sustainable? where can I find linen trousers?
And well, I have a lot of thoughts I'd be happy to share from my years of sustainability sleuthing and trial-and-error experiences.
So I'd love to know: would you like to see occasional brand or product curations in this newsletter?
These wouldn't be salesy roundups, but honest suggestions to support more conscious choices if and when you're looking to add to your closet.
Take the poll below to let me know if this is something that'd be supportive to you or not.
📆 An Upcoming Event
If you're a founder, business owner, consultant, content creator, or services provider in the sustainable fashion space, I'd love to invite you to our free virtual networking event we're hosting at Conscious Fashion Collective!
It's a low pressure connection call (we give you question prompts and split you into small groups in breakout rooms) where you can chat, connect, and maybe even find opportunities for collaborations.
Hope to see you there! (And feel free to share with a friend too.)
💌 Thank you for reading Slow Fashion Saturday!
It means a lot that you're here.
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